Life is a vexing thing. Early in life, you wish to become something great. Later in life, as you get towards a middle-ground where you feel "at ease" with your talents, you come to find that being "great" means less and less. You begin to prioritize what means most to you, and then you come to realize that nothing really means anything to you... or is it that everything means everything to you, and that you just don't have enough time to do it all?
Everyone at some time must decide what they'll be doing for the rest of their lives, lest they simply stagnate and become nothing. I've tried my hand at being an athlete, an artist, a musician, a writer, a pro gamer, a bookworm, and a programmer.
As a child, I played soccer for a few years and it was quite interesting. I think I gained a love for group efforts through soccer, regardless of the fact that I dropped out of my own accord half way through a season. I suppose somewhere inside of me I began to doubt I had any confidence in the whole society thing.
Then, for awhile, I did nothing. On the side, I would draw a little here and there, play games, and eventually I learned to do some programming too. It was a carefree life, until I got to high school. In high school, I felt a growing need to prepare for "my future," so I thought long and hard about what I wanted to "be" when I grew up. Gaming? Gaming had little potential at the time. In the end, I didn't think about girls, I didn't think about parties - I thought about drawing. I drew a lot, read a lot about drawing, and played some guitar. Eventually I learned to play guitar very well and even joined two bands, but I was even better with pen and paper. I learned a great deal about Photoshop and began drawing quite a bit with the tablet too, as you can see from my gallery.
In late 2011 / early 2012 I felt a great need to grasp at the root of my childhood dreams - gaming. After all, it's what's inspired me in all of the things I do. At that time, I tried my hand for awhile a pro gaming. A game by the great company Blizzard Entertainment had come out, Starcraft 2. It was the sequel to a title that was extremely popular in South Korea, and now the new revitalized version was growing in the west. Not only was there a potential to make great money very easily if one put their mind to it (something that suits me quite well - I am great at throwing away everything around me to go gung-ho into something) but it was an untapped field that was growing very quickly. There was no end of possibilities in the future - being a pro gamer, being behind-the-scenes, being a developer for web stuff.
I became very good at the game. In Starcraft 2 there are seven levels of proficiency on the public gaming ladders. They range from Bronze, which is the lowest, to Grandmaster, made up of the top 2% of players in the region. After six months I wasn't quite yet a pro, but I certainly had passed many of my followers expectations by going from Silver (even Bronze at one point when I was demoted) to high Diamond. I had a small following on Twitch.TV where I would host live video footage of myself playing for spectators to watch.
Then something happened - I was invited to go out to Manhattan, NY. Not only to go there, but to stay there for months on end. Manhattan, NY is known around the world to be one of the world's two greatest cities (wikipedia states London is an equal), so I needed to decide. If I was to move to Manhattan, there was no chance of me living there long without any work. I'd have to quit gaming, quit my current job, and then work very hard to get a job. Not only that, but I surely wouldn't be able to find a job in Manhattan with my measly Associates of Applied Science "degree." I'd have to work hard to be a freelance programmer selling myself to companies to make a buck.
From time to time, I've tried to write, but it never became of anything. I suppose it's just one of those things - you learn whether you're better at telling stories or receiving them. I guess my nature is to take in things around me, subconsciously analyze them for actual importance, and react. I fear daily it's something that will keep me from ever becoming a great freelancer. Which brings me to my present-day self.
At a point in time, I was at a crossroads.. yet unlike Robert Frost, I chose the path most likely to bring me consistent income. For now, I am a freelance programmer, and I really think it's what's best for me. Art... gaming... these are things I may delve into in the future, but ultimately I feel most secure knowing I have a powerful trade skill that is relevant and undying. Something that I can go anywhere with and generate loot. This is what I've chosen to stick with, and we'll just have to see where it takes me - for now, it's taken me to Manhattan, NY <3